Lead Tidbit

The Quality of Thanks

Think of a gift of value that you have given someone and/or received from someone. To or from a parent, your spouse, a sibling, a child, a friend. Now think of the thank you that you either received or gave. Verbally or in writing.
Almost there. Now picture the difference in the following two situations that call for thank you.
We’ll try a few examples, with the hope that at least one of them will hit the spot when we get to the NIMSHAL (a hard word to translate - the actual situation that an analogy or a parable was really talking about).
The gift: a book. Same book received by two different people. The first person puts the book on the shelf, unread. The second person reads it from cover to cover and is greatly moved by it. The book was enjoyable or profound, or greatly informative, or inspiring.
Each of the two people send a thank you note to the giver. For this analogy, we are not even talking about the first person’s note saying, Thank you for the book you gave me, and the second person’s note overflowing with obvious appreciation for what he or she really got from the wonderful book. Not that.
Picture the two notes - the first from the person who didn’t read the book and the second from the one who did read the book (and greatly benefited from it) - to be identical. They both say the same things.
But what about the feelings of the writer of each note? What about the enthusiasm invested in each note? What about the sincerity of each note?
We can understand that the second person’s note is filled with warm feelings for the giver of the gift. He read the book. And he really liked it. And that is conveyed via his thank you note.
But what about the first person? He’s saying (writing) nice things, but he barely knows what the book is about - if that much.
Same words, but worlds apart.
Before the NIMSHAL (if you haven’t figured it out yet), let’s present another MASHAL - maybe this will speak to some of the TTreaders differently.
You give someone a cell phone. To two different people. One person uses it to make and receive phone calls. And that’s all. Doesn’t even know of the other features of the phone.
But the second person - ah! he knows all about it, and he uses many other functions of the phone. He takes pictures. He even takes a few videos. Of course, he uses the calculator when he needs a quick calculation. Regularly wakes up to the alarm. Keeps his schedule of meetings in the appointment book. Plays enjoyable music on the mp3 player. Bowls a 180, but can’t get the hang of moving those boxes out of the way. (Let’s not even mention the internet capabilities.)
Can you imagine the difference in the two thank you notes?! The first one - thank you for the cute portable telephone. I’ll call you sometime.
The second will go on and on about all of the features. And the appreciation for the one who gave the gift will be far greater than in the first case.
Or, if the notes were the same (as in the book analogy), the two notes would “feel” completely different.
In this week’s sedra, we have the mitzva of Birkat HaMazon. You shall eat and be satisfied, and you shall bless HaShem… (the dot, dot, dot is significant - we’ll see that shortly).
And Birkat HaMazon is one of our Thank You notes to G-d. We thank Him for the food He provides us and all living creatures. And we thank Him for several special features His gift of life provides us with.
We thank Him for the wonderful land He has given us. We thank Him for the Torah and Mitzvot that He has taught us and commanded us.
Let’s compare - or contrast - in our imaginations, two people who have had a meal and are conveying their thanks to G-d. One of the people is not Torah observant. (Why he’s benching is another story.) But can you feel the difference in the quality, meaning, and feeling when Torah and Mitzvot are mentioned?
And what about the difference when one refers to ERETZ CHEMDA TOVA… from Boro Park or Jerusalem?

• Other Lead Tidbit
• It's Not a Sin, but...
• Remembering in Tandem
• The Middle Matza